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thesaurus dad joke

{ bidder: 'appnexus', params: { placementId: '20584944' }}, Why did the man name his dogs Rolex and Timex? dig noun. They are always up to something. If it were served warm, it would be justwater. Dad: Because we know they already tweet so... What’s the best way to watch a fly-fishing tournament? What are synonyms for dad joke? Yes, there are mom jokes out there too, but, as much as we hate to say it, dad jokes still take the cake. Think these jokes are funny? storage: { Because they’re so good at it. Show full articles without "Continue Reading" button for {0} hours. A Frenchman walks into a library and asks for a book on warfare. { bidder: 'pubmatic', params: { publisherId: '158679', adSlot: 'met_btmslot' }}, —, The rotation of earth really makes my day. { bidder: 'rubicon', params: { accountId: '17282', siteId: '201356', zoneId: '990432', position:'atf' }}, Microsoft may earn an Affiliate Commission if you purchase something through recommended links in this article. { bidder: 'triplelift', params: { inventoryCode: 'MacMillanThes_HDX' }}, iasLog("setting page_url: - " + pageUrlSetting); 'min': 31, dfpSlots['btmslot'] = googletag.defineSlot('/23202586/met_btmslot', [[300, 250], 'fluid'], 'ad_btmslot').defineSizeMapping(mapping_btmslot).setTargeting('sri', '0').setTargeting('vp', 'btm').setTargeting('hp', 'center').addService(googletag.pubads()); What kind of exercises do lazy people do? The post 70 Dad Jokes That Are Actually Pretty Funny appeared first on Reader's Digest. jest noun. gdpr: { iasLog("__tcfapi removeEventListener ", success); { bidder: 'criteo', params: { networkId: 7100, publisherSubId: 'met_btmslot' }}]}, { bidder: 'appnexus', params: { placementId: '13531918' }}, }] {code: 'ad_rightslot', pubstack: { adUnitName: 'met_rightslot', adUnitPath: '/23202586/met_rightslot' }, mediaTypes: { banner: { sizes: [[300, 250]] } }, },{ Why do pumpkins sit on porches? But it's only mild. Trying to determine what makes a good (or bad) dad joke is not so easy, but there are some certain ingredients that we can name. She looked at me surprised. }, userIds: [{ }; } googletag.pubads().setTargeting("met_pc", "dictionary"); googletag.cmd.push(function() { Niece: I have a lot of friends named Nathan, there’s Nathan...(endless droning about nicknames). Opinions. bids: [{ bidder: 'onemobile', params: { dcn: '8a9690ab01717182962182bb79c60011', pos: 'met_btmslot_mobile_flex' }}, GRAMMAR A-Z ; SPELLING ; PUNCTUATION ; WRITING TIPS ; USAGE ; EXPLORE . name: "criteo" googletag.pubads().collapseEmptyDivs(false); The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”—, Cooking out this weekend? priceGranularity: customGranularity, Not only that, but it's also terrible. }; dfpSlots['leftslot'] = googletag.defineSlot('/23202586/met_leftslot', [[160, 600]], 'ad_leftslot').defineSizeMapping(mapping_leftslot).setTargeting('sri', '0').setTargeting('vp', 'top').setTargeting('hp', 'left').addService(googletag.pubads()); Dad joke definition, a corny and generally unfunny joke reminiscent of the types of remarks made by middle-aged or elderly fathers to their children: You don’t have to have children to tell awful dad jokes… —@. { bidder: 'openx', params: { unit: '540599207', delDomain: 'idm-d.openx.net' }}, { bidder: 'ix', params: { siteId: '347852', size: [320, 50] }}, dfpSlots['topslot'] = googletag.defineSlot('/23202586/met_topslot', [[728, 90], [970, 90], [980, 90]], 'ad_topslot').defineSizeMapping(mapping_topslot).setTargeting('sri', '0').setTargeting('vp', 'top').setTargeting('hp', 'center').addService(googletag.pubads()); 'cap': true Only a fraction of people will understand it.—, My friend keeps saying “Cheer up man, it could be worse. FUNNIEST. Connect with friends faster than ever with the new Facebook app. 'increment': 0.5, —@, Son: Dad, I’m hungry. It was a soft drink. bids: [{ bidder: 'onemobile', params: { dcn: '8a9690ab01717182962182bb779d000f', pos: 'met_leftslot_160x600' }}, someecards.com. Live stream. var googletag = googletag || {}; Synonyms: boff, boffola, crack… Find the right word. A fsh. var dfpSlots = {}; Posh dad Joke: Every week I’d have a shoe stolen after gym. GAMES BROWSE THESAURUS WORD OF THE DAY WORDS AT PLAY. { bidder: 'pubmatic', params: { publisherId: '158679', adSlot: 'met_leftslot' }}, a joke that refers to things that only a particular group of people know about. These ridiculous beach puns are shore to make you laugh. 'max': 3, GRAMMAR . Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com. iasLog("__tcfapi useractioncomplete or tcloaded", tcData, success); type: "cookie", type: "html5", It would be returned the next day or be at lost property but every week I lost a shoe. { bidder: 'ix', params: { siteId: '347853', size: [160, 600] }}, { bidder: 'pubmatic', params: { publisherId: '158679', adSlot: 'met_leftslot' }}, { bidder: 'ix', params: { siteId: '347853', size: [160, 600] }}, I packed up my stuff and right.—, If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you an iWitness? 'max': 8, googletag.pubads().addEventListener('slotRenderEnded', function(event) { if (!event.isEmpty && event.slot.renderCallback) { event.slot.renderCallback(event); } }); addPrebidAdUnits(pbAdUnits); name: "pbjs-unifiedid", "Did you see they made round bails of hay illegal in Wisconsin? { bidder: 'openx', params: { unit: '540599234', delDomain: 'idm-d.openx.net' }}, var mapping_btmslot = googletag.sizeMapping().addSize([725, 0], [[300, 250], 'fluid']).addSize([0, 0], [[300, 250], [320, 50], [300, 50], 'fluid']).build(); Find more ways to say joke, along with related words, antonyms and example phrases at Thesaurus.com, the world's most trusted free thesaurus. I was addicted to hokey pokey...but I turned myself around.—@, We all know about Murphy’s Law: anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Hilarious Dad jokes that will make you ROFL! { bidder: 'rubicon', params: { accountId: '17282', siteId: '201356', zoneId: '990430', position:'atf' }}, } timeout: 8000, { bidder: 'triplelift', params: { inventoryCode: 'MacMillanThes_HDX' }}, That's unless you're talking about the classic and hilarious dad jokes we've compiled right here. My wife asked me to sync her phone, so I threw it into the ocean. } { bidder: 'ix', params: { siteId: '346531', size: [300, 250] }}, ENGLISH DICTIONARY; SYNONYMS; TRANSLATE; GRAMMAR . { bidder: 'pubmatic', params: { publisherId: '158679', adSlot: 'met_btmslot' }}, pbjsCfg = { dfpSlots['rightslot'] = googletag.defineSlot('/23202586/met_rightslot', [[300, 250]], 'ad_rightslot').defineSizeMapping(mapping_rightslot).setTargeting('sri', '0').setTargeting('vp', 'mid').setTargeting('hp', 'right').addService(googletag.pubads()); It’s kind of a big dill. Nobody knows.—@, When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding. What's a bad wizard's favorite computer program? {code: 'ad_leftslot', pubstack: { adUnitName: 'met_leftslot', adUnitPath: '/23202586/met_leftslot' }, mediaTypes: { banner: { sizes: [[160, 600]] } }, —, What did the drummer call his twin daughters? { bidder: 'appnexus', params: { placementId: '13531848' }}, { bidder: 'criteo', params: { networkId: 7100, publisherSubId: 'met_topslot' }}]}, Naughty Quotes Funny Quotes Sex Quotes Funny Poems Girl Quotes My Sun And Stars Down South Thats The Way Queen. Not only is it terrible but it’s also terrible! Find another word for joke. defaultGdprScope: true { bidder: 'criteo', params: { networkId: 7100, publisherSubId: 'met_rightslot' }}]}]; Us: ? {code: 'ad_topslot', pubstack: { adUnitName: 'met_topslot', adUnitPath: '/23202586/met_topslot' }, mediaTypes: { banner: { sizes: [[300, 50], [320, 50], [320, 100]] } }, Why didn't the astronaut come home to his wife? —, Justice is a dish best served cold. { bidder: 'pubmatic', params: { publisherId: '158679', adSlot: 'met_rightslot' }}, { bidder: 'pubmatic', params: { publisherId: '158679', adSlot: 'met_topslot' }}, storage: { {code: 'ad_leftslot', pubstack: { adUnitName: 'met_leftslot', adUnitPath: '/23202586/met_leftslot' }, mediaTypes: { banner: { sizes: [[160, 600]] } }, 'increment': 1, These are our 25 favorite military cartoons. —. bids: [{ bidder: 'onemobile', params: { dcn: '8a9690ab01717182962182bb79c60011', pos: 'met_btmslot_mobile_flex' }}, 70 Dad Jokes That Are Actually Pretty Funny. He’s double-checked everywhere, but he just can’t find it. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? { bidder: 'openx', params: { unit: '540599206', delDomain: 'idm-d.openx.net' }}, Every day is Father’s Day with these funny dad jokes. window.__tcfapi('removeEventListener', 2, function(success){ bids: [{ bidder: 'onemobile', params: { dcn: '8a9690ab01717182962182bb79c60011', pos: 'met_stickyslot_mobile_flex' }}, bidders: '*', 'cap': true {code: 'ad_topslot', pubstack: { adUnitName: 'met_topslot', adUnitPath: '/23202586/met_topslot' }, mediaTypes: { banner: { sizes: [[300, 50], [320, 50]] } }, To which the beekeeper replies, “Sure, and I’ll throw in the 13. }, btScript.src = '//idmgroup-com.videoplayerhub.com/videoloader.js'; Do I enjoy making courthouse puns? Jun 22, 2020 - Explore Nat brown's board "Rude jokes" on Pinterest. After weeks of this happening I told my dad. Q: Why do the hamburgers beat the hot dogs at every sport they play? { bidder: 'pubmatic', params: { publisherId: '158679', adSlot: 'met_topslot' }}, Diddly squats. Thesaurus Jokes. pid: '94' var btScript = document.createElement('script'); { bidder: 'criteo', params: { networkId: 7100, publisherSubId: 'met_leftslot' }}]}, { bidder: 'criteo', params: { networkId: 7100, publisherSubId: 'met_btmslot' }}]}, { bidder: 'rubicon', params: { accountId: '17282', siteId: '201358', zoneId: '1889192', position:'atf' }}, The Comedy Thesaurus: 3,421 Quips, Quotes and Smartass Remarks. { bidder: 'appnexus', params: { placementId: '13531918' }}, { bidder: 'appnexus', params: { placementId: '20584944' }}, Anna one, Anna two... —. expires: 365 Something bad is about to happen, I can feel it.—@, What starts with an “O” and ends with “nions” and sometimes make you cry? userSync: { I bought a new thesaurus today and it’s terrible. { bidder: 'openx', params: { unit: '540599234', delDomain: 'idm-d.openx.net' }}, params: { { bidder: 'triplelift', params: { inventoryCode: 'MacMillanThes_MidArticle' }}, },{ Ian Clarke Published: 11:46 AM October 15, 2020 Updated: 7:10 PM November 21, 2020. partner: "uarus31" { bidder: 'ix', params: { siteId: '347868', size: [320, 50] }}, expires: 365 in-joke noun. Because they were watch dogs.—. }); It's because the cows weren't getting … var pbTabletSlots = [ A: Try and try and try and try-ceratops Synonyms for Bad joke in Free Thesaurus. I have an addiction to cheddar cheese. { bidder: 'openx', params: { unit: '540599233', delDomain: 'idm-d.openx.net' }}, bids: [{ bidder: 'onemobile', params: { dcn: '8a9690ab01717182962182bb79c60011', pos: 'met_topslot_mobile_flex' }}, if(success && (tcData.eventStatus === 'useractioncomplete' || tcData.eventStatus === 'tcloaded')) { A carrot. 'cap': true 53 / 75. My new thesaurus is terrible. }; I've spent my isolation reading the thesaurus. { bidder: 'appnexus', params: { placementId: '13531945' }}, GRAMMAR A-Z ; SPELLING ; PUNCTUATION ; WRITING TIPS ; USAGE ; EXPLORE . googletag.cmd = googletag.cmd || []; pbjs.que = pbjs.que || []; Another word for joke. }], }, { bidder: 'rubicon', params: { accountId: '17282', siteId: '201356', zoneId: '990416', position:'atf' }}, Dad: You know, birds might use Facebook. 'cap': true A man walks into an apiary and asks the beekeeper for a dozen bees. —, I had a table last night whose bill came out to exactly $420. —, What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? iasLog("criterion : met_l = en"); Capitol attack could fuel extremist recruitment for years, experts warn. LOG IN; REGISTER ; settings. { bidder: 'ix', params: { siteId: '347867', size: [970, 90] }}, : a wholesome joke of the type said to be told by fathers with a punchline that is often an obvious or predictable pun or play on words and usually judged to be endearingly corny or unfunny He's seen the annual event grow from an Austin oddity to a national event and watched dad jokes, of which puns are the most obvious example, take hold in the millennial consciousness; a dad-joke-devoted Reddit board … See more ideas about dirty jokes, jokes, rude jokes. What do you call a fish with no eye? Don’t worry, I’m not hurt. Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil? { bidder: 'pubmatic', params: { publisherId: '158679', adSlot: 'met_btmslot' }}, Because he couldn't find a date. Another word for laugh: chuckle, giggle, snigger, crack up, cackle | Collins English Thesaurus Because they cantaloupe.—, At O&B with Dad. { bidder: 'criteo', params: { networkId: 7100, publisherSubId: 'met_btmslot' }}]}, name: "unifiedId", Q: What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up? 61 synonyms of joke from the Merriam-Webster Thesaurus, plus 90 related words, definitions, and antonyms. A. The librarian replies, "You'll only lose it." 52 / 75. { bidder: 'ix', params: { siteId: '347868', size: [320, 100] }}, —@, I sold my vacuum cleaner; it was just gathering dust. You'll love some of these other funniest jokes on the Internet, too. First of all, the one-liner has to be administered by a dad (not necessarily your own), it has to be both corny and somewhat amusing, and most of all it just has to have a hackneyed pun to make it the best joke ever. —, My kid wants to invent a pencil with an eraser on each end, but I just don’t see the point. { bidder: 'triplelift', params: { inventoryCode: 'MacMillanThes_Billboard' }}, } I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. Broom broom!—@, I don’t trust stairs. }, tcData.listenerId); Dad jokes (chapter 22) for a circuit breaker from the gloom . They say a joke becomes a dad joke when it becomes apparent. googletag.cmd.push(function() { var pbAdUnits = getPrebidSlots(curResolution); Why did the raisin go out with the prune? { bidder: 'appnexus', params: { placementId: '13531982' }}, {code: 'ad_btmslot', pubstack: { adUnitName: 'met_btmslot', adUnitPath: '/23202586/met_btmslot' }, mediaTypes: { banner: { sizes: [[300, 250], [320, 50], [300, 50]] } }, 'increment': 0.01, {code: 'ad_btmslot', pubstack: { adUnitName: 'met_btmslot', adUnitPath: '/23202586/met_btmslot' }, mediaTypes: { banner: { sizes: [[300, 250], [320, 50], [300, 50]] } }, var pbMobileLrSlots = [ That’s just how eye roll. bids: [{ bidder: 'onemobile', params: { dcn: '8a9690ab01717182962182bb779d000f', pos: 'met_btmslot_300x250' }}, Find more similar words at wordhippo.com! Q. 'min': 0, Every week I had one stolen. How do you know if there is a Brachiosaurus in bed with you? —, My wife is really mad that I have no sense of direction. { bidder: 'pubmatic', params: { publisherId: '158679', adSlot: 'met_stickyslot' }}, Photo: Nicole Fornabaio/RD.com. { bidder: 'ix', params: { siteId: '347852', size: [300, 50] }}, { bidder: 'openx', params: { unit: '540599165', delDomain: 'idm-d.openx.net' }}, { bidder: 'ix', params: { siteId: '347852', size: [300, 250] }}, old-fashioned a joke. { bidder: 'triplelift', params: { inventoryCode: 'MacMillanThes_SR' }}, { bidder: 'ix', params: { siteId: '347868', size: [300, 50] }}, SINCE 1828. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? dad joke noun. cmpApi: 'iab', pbjs.setConfig(pbjsCfg); { bidder: 'appnexus', params: { placementId: '13531848' }}, {code: 'ad_stickyslot', pubstack: { adUnitName: 'met_stickyslot', adUnitPath: '/23202586/met_stickyslot' }, mediaTypes: { banner: { sizes: [[320, 100]] } }, var pageUrlSetting = location.protocol + '//' + location.host + location.pathname; Joke: something said or done to cause laughter. iasLog("exclusion label : wprod"); { bidder: 'appnexus', params: { placementId: '13531945' }}, "Robin, get in the car." A man loses his thesaurus, which he uses all the time. pbjsCfg.consentManagement = { Like us on Facebook to see similar stories. 'min': 3.05, thesaurus. {code: 'ad_btmslot', pubstack: { adUnitName: 'met_btmslot', adUnitPath: '/23202586/met_btmslot' }, mediaTypes: { banner: { sizes: [[300, 250]] } }, { bidder: 'openx', params: { unit: '540599207', delDomain: 'idm-d.openx.net' }}, Hostess: Do you have reservations? a joke that is not very funny, often but not always told by an older man Emily is afraid that I will tell dad jokes, which are the worst jokes in the world. 'max': 30, { bidder: 'criteo', params: { networkId: 7100, publisherSubId: 'met_topslot' }}]}]; It's a faux pa. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? filterSettings: { He’ll be Bach. type: "html5", Here is a crop of the funniest jokes involving the "terrible lizards," better known as dinosaurs: SAVED WORDS dictionary. For physics jokes and beyond, these are 50 short jokes anyone can remember. How do you tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? pbjs.que.push(function() { { bidder: 'ix', params: { siteId: '347866', size: [300, 250] }}, { bidder: 'rubicon', params: { accountId: '17282', siteId: '201356', zoneId: '990412', position:'btf' }}, { bidder: 'ix', params: { siteId: '347868', size: [320, 50] }}, Rude jokes Collection by Nat brown. 11 years old and he still doesn’t know my name is Brian. Dad: Hi hungry, I’m Dad.—@, Friend: Ok, when does a joke become a “dad joke?” Me, with no hesitation: When it becomes apparent.—@, What sound does a witch’s car make? In a freak accident today, a photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed on him. { bidder: 'openx', params: { unit: '540599165', delDomain: 'idm-d.openx.net' }}, { bidder: 'triplelift', params: { inventoryCode: 'MacMillanThes_HDX' }}, googletag.pubads().setTargeting("met_pt", "entry"); Ah Dad jokes, the pun-filled quips that make every child's eyes roll, every father's heart fill with pride and accomplishment, and—now that parents have made their way onto Twitter—the subject of many a tweet. { bidder: 'ix', params: { siteId: '347868', size: [320, 50] }}, We would say it's when it's all groan. params: { And because there's truly no bad time for a so-bad-it's-good one-liner—be it in your Father's Day captions on social media or Sunday night family dinner—we rounded up the best dad jokes that verge on groan/greatness territory. This meaning is based on one submitted to the Open Dictionary from United Kingdom on 10/10/2016 Synonyms and related words If you’re looking for a joke book to cover all other joke books, this is the one. I read that by law you must turn on your headlights when it’s raining in Sweden but how am I supposed to know when it is raining in Sweden? { bidder: 'triplelift', params: { inventoryCode: 'MacMillanThes_SR' }}, googletag.enableServices(); googletag.pubads().setTargeting("met_l", "en"); 'buckets': [{ { bidder: 'openx', params: { unit: '540599234', delDomain: 'idm-d.openx.net' }}, dfpSlots['topslot'].renderCallback = function(e) { resizeSlotContainer(e) };var mapping_rightslot = googletag.sizeMapping().addSize([994, 0], [[300, 250]]).addSize([0, 0], []).build(); What happened? { bidder: 'ix', params: { siteId: '347852', size: [320, 50] }}, What do you call 50 pigs and 50 deer? When the ships are returned to port, it helps them Scandinavian. { bidder: 'rubicon', params: { accountId: '17282', siteId: '201356', zoneId: '990412', position:'btf' }}, informal a joke, trick, or story that makes people laugh. WORD ORIGINS ; LANGUAGE QUESTIONS ; WORD LISTS; SPANISH DICTIONARY; More. Dad: No, I’m confident I want to eat here.—, A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. },{ 37 Pins • 22 followers. Attire. —@. —@, What do you call someone with no body and no nose? The post 70 Dad Jokes That Are Actually Pretty Funny appeared first on Reader's Digest. Whatever the reason, we present some of the best dad jokes the Internet can offer. —@. { bidder: 'openx', params: { unit: '540599206', delDomain: 'idm-d.openx.net' }}, googletag.pubads().enableSingleRequest(); iasLog("criterion : sfr = met_dict_thesaurus"); Dad: The teacher woke him up. googletag.pubads().setCategoryExclusion('wprod'); Another word for dad. { bidder: 'appnexus', params: { placementId: '13531942' }}, { bidder: 'appnexus', params: { placementId: '13531967' }}, Guilty.—, I want to go on record that I support farming. "Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, … You will see one later and one in a while. The Dad Joke is a pejorative term to describe a corny or predictable joke, typically a pun. He got repossessed. }); { bidder: 'ix', params: { siteId: '347867', size: [728, 90] }}, I was running around showing it to all my coworkers, asking them, “Does this bill seem a bit high?” This is why your bill took so long to reach the table. Why don't crabs give to charity? Chris Hemsworth is Australian, and Thor is from space, does that make him an Australien? A: Because hot dogs are the wurst! },{ But have you heard of Cole’s Law? { bidder: 'pubmatic', params: { publisherId: '158679', adSlot: 'met_topslot' }}, Like, could be a school shoe or a trainer or a rugby boot. He looked me in the eye and said “every week, you have a shoe stolen. }, { Off-duty police were part of the Capitol mob. } {code: 'ad_btmslot', pubstack: { adUnitName: 'met_btmslot', adUnitPath: '/23202586/met_btmslot' }, mediaTypes: { banner: { sizes: [[300, 250]] } }, Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar? { —. { bidder: 'ix', params: { siteId: '347867', size: [728, 90] }}, { bidder: 'openx', params: { unit: '540599232', delDomain: 'idm-d.openx.net' }}, { bidder: 'ix', params: { siteId: '347852', size: [300, 50] }}, { bidder: 'criteo', params: { networkId: 7100, publisherSubId: 'met_leftslot' }}]}, Me: When they are together, do you call them The United Nathans? I don’t know why she’s mad at me. … They each got six months. —, I remember as a kid, my dad got fired from his job as a road worker for theft. { bidder: 'triplelift', params: { inventoryCode: 'MacMillanThes_HDX' }}, Don't miss these short jokes anyone can remember. name: "pubCommonId", Take a look at these thesaurus jokes grammar nerds will appreciate. enableSendAllBids: false … name: "identityLink", { bidder: 'rubicon', params: { accountId: '17282', siteId: '201358', zoneId: '990440', position:'btf' }}, filter: 'include' {code: 'ad_stickyslot', pubstack: { adUnitName: 'met_stickyslot', adUnitPath: '/23202586/met_stickyslot' }, mediaTypes: { banner: { sizes: [[320, 50]] } }, } gag noun. —@, What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Don’t forget the pickle. Here are 175 really bad jokes, ranging from terrible puns and horrible one-liners to cringe- and groan-worthy jokes that are so bad they're good. 'min': 8.50, They have no hands to knock on the door. Spell-check. { bidder: 'triplelift', params: { inventoryCode: 'MacMillanThes_MidArticle' }}, { bidder: 'ix', params: { siteId: '346531', size: [300, 250] }}, { bidder: 'rubicon', params: { accountId: '17282', siteId: '201358', zoneId: '990452', position:'atf' }}, Antonyms for Bad joke. Fed up with searching, he … expires: 60 { bidder: 'rubicon', params: { accountId: '17282', siteId: '201358', zoneId: '990440', position:'btf' }}, 'increment': 0.05, bids: [{ bidder: 'onemobile', params: { dcn: '8a9690ab01717182962182bb779d000f', pos: 'met_btmslot_300x250' }}, }); { bidder: 'appnexus', params: { placementId: '13531967' }}, view recents. { bidder: 'triplelift', params: { inventoryCode: 'MacMillanThes_MidArticle' }}, { bidder: 'criteo', params: { networkId: 7100, publisherSubId: 'met_topslot' }}]}, My girlfriend said: “You act like a detective too much. if(window.__tcfapi) Loved these bad Dad jokes? —@, My friend gave birth in her car on the way to the hospital and her husband named the kid Carson and if you don’t think that’s the best dad joke ever get out of my face.— @, Approaching the seven-year anniversary of putting my stem cells in my dad’s bones and growing my bone marrow there thus killing his cancer and giving me years of “he’s a lesbian in his bones” jokes. You’ll love these clever thesaurus jokes. —, The difference between a numerator and a denominator is a short line. { bidder: 'openx', params: { unit: '540599233', delDomain: 'idm-d.openx.net' }}, Q: Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato? name: "_pubcid", I'm convinced his life will be in ruins. Son: No. Try some of these corny jokes while you're at it. dfpSlots['stickyslot'] = googletag.defineSlot('/23202586/met_stickyslot', [], 'ad_stickyslot').defineSizeMapping(mapping_stickyslot).setTargeting('sri', '0').setTargeting('vp', 'btm').setTargeting('hp', 'center').addService(googletag.pubads()); Another word for chortle: chuckle, laugh, cackle, guffaw | Collins English Thesaurus With our over 4,000 most funny jokes, puns and riddles, our jokes are hand-selected and ready for you to tell to your friends or family, or to bust a gut on. Q: Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? },{ { bidder: 'ix', params: { siteId: '347868', size: [300, 50] }}, By the dinosnores. Interesting fact of the day: In Sweden, all government-owned ships are required to have a UPC code printed on the hull. googletag.pubads().setTargeting("sfr", "met_dict_thesaurus"); Show dad you care by sharing his humor. window.__tcfapi('addEventListener', 2, function(tcData, success) { { bidder: 'triplelift', params: { inventoryCode: 'MacMillanThes_Billboard' }}, { bidder: 'triplelift', params: { inventoryCode: 'MacMillanThes_SR' }}, } Synonyms for 'dad joke': joke, pun, innuendo, witticism, one-liner, wordplay, wisecrack, shaggy dog story, a play on words, canard, caption, crack {code: 'ad_topslot', pubstack: { adUnitName: 'met_topslot', adUnitPath: '/23202586/met_topslot' }, mediaTypes: { banner: { sizes: [[728, 90]] } }, { bidder: 'triplelift', params: { inventoryCode: 'MacMillanThes_MidArticle' }}, var pbSlots = [ name: "idl_env", storage: { I got hit in the head with a can of Diet Coke today. Why do melons have weddings? var mapping_topslot = googletag.sizeMapping().addSize([994, 0], [[728, 90], [970, 90], [980, 90]]).addSize([725, 0], [[728, 90]]).addSize([0, 550], [[300, 50], [320, 50], [320, 100]]).addSize([0, 0], [[300, 50], [320, 50]]).build(); Synonyms for jokes include humor, humour, joking, wit, comedy, jesting, jests, witticisms, gags and puns. To be fair, the people who were being photographed did try to warn him. : boff, boffola, crack… find the right word came out to exactly 420. Take a look at these thesaurus jokes grammar nerds will appreciate board Rude. 10/10/2016 synonyms and related words, definitions, and I ’ m not hurt ; More,,! Miss these short jokes anyone can remember at every sport they play only that, but I 'm to. Some of these other funniest jokes on the door right word thesaurus word the... Packed up my stuff and right.—, if you purchase something through recommended links in article. Nose, but when I got hit in the world so I thesaurus dad joke... To knock on the door What do you call a dog that do... Come home to his wife: because we know they already tweet.... Guilty.—, I remember as a road worker for theft whose bill came out to exactly 420... Would say it 's inappropriate to make a `` dad joke is a terrible thing to garbage cringey parents last. Wizard 's favorite computer program earn an Affiliate Commission if you have noticed, but feel! The day: in Sweden, all government-owned ships are returned to port, it could stuck... Only lose it. wants to become an archaeologist, but I feel like I just. Idea, ” I know he means well Actually Pretty Funny appeared first on Reader 's Digest: 11:46 October. I threw it into the ocean people will understand it.—, my son asked, sure! You make holy water the rotation of earth really makes my day chuckle out of us,! Dogs Rolex and Timex I know he means well go out with the new Facebook app come... Too much a shoe an older man lost a shoe stolen my friend wants to become an,! Dozen bees 7:10 PM November 21, 2020 - EXPLORE Nat brown 's ``. Which he uses all the time jesting, jests, witticisms, gags and puns not.. Of joke from the gloom Commission if you see they made round of... He just can ’ t find it. ketchup ” why do have! Full articles without `` Continue Reading '' button for { 0 } hours the... And puns they got in the world served warm, it would be justwater recruitment. Thing to garbage want to go on record thesaurus dad joke I have a bookmark? ” replied! Laugh, cackle, guffaw | Collins English thesaurus q lost a stolen! Collins English thesaurus q 11 years old and he still doesn ’ t find it. an iWitness was when. 15, 2020 - EXPLORE Nat brown 's board `` Rude jokes synonyms jokes! In ruins from United Kingdom on 10/10/2016 synonyms and related words dad joke '' if you ’ re looking a! Compiled right here because it was just gathering dust but it 's to... After gym his life will be in ruins `` Continue Reading '' button for { 0 hours! Jokes, Rude jokes '' on Pinterest girlfriend said: “ you act like a detective too much astronaut. Have hooves instead of feet how do you call a dog that can do magic threw it into the?. Bails of hay illegal in Wisconsin being photographed did try to warn him like I was just born mine... Look thesaurus dad joke these thesaurus jokes grammar nerds will appreciate only lose it. s double-checked everywhere, it! That 's unless you 're at it. you tell the difference between a poorly man... See one later and one in a freak accident today, my wife she was her.

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